This grandson turned 2 over the summer.
When I was eight, I thought being a grandmother would make me really decrepit.
I also thought I would know more by the time I was a Nana. Oh, I have more useless knowledge in my head, but I really expected to be wiser by the time I was this decrepit. I’m wiser than age eight, but sometimes I still feel only twelve. Do we ever really grow up? (Author Leo Buscaglia said we don’t – we just get taller.)
Oprah writes in her magazine (soon to be digital-only) every month “The thing I know for sure….” and then she adds some life lesson she’s gained in her 50+ years.
From my now decrepit point of view, here are 2 dozen things I know for sure….
1. Grandchildren are the most wonderful, perfect gift you can receive.
2. I should have appreciated my slender frame when I was 20, instead of thinking I was fat.
3. It was very beneficial growing up with a special-needs brother. I like to think I’m more compassionate because of it.
4. Never have a squirrel monkey as a pet. They’re stinky and mean.
5. When you’re feeling insecure for whatever reason, thinking the world is watching you and judging – relax. Nobody cares. People are focused on their own insecurities, thinking the world is watching them and judging. It’s really silly.
6. Trouble always starts out fun.
7. Dark chocolate is better than milk chocolate. (Note: White chocolate is not really chocolate. It’s cocoa butter (no cocoa), sugar and milk, and it’s greasy and yucky. It does not even deserve the title ‘chocolate.’ It should be called ‘white sugar grease.’)
8. Be nice to cashiers and waiter/waitresses, no matter what. They deal with rude customers more than anyone else on the planet.
9. When extra money comes your way, almost immediately, a major appliance will die, the car will need a new transmission, surgery will be needed, or an asteroid will fall on your house.
10. Black cohosh with clover really does minimize hot flashes.
11. As soon as you find a great product you love, the manufacturer will change it, or stop making it. Buy 5 of that item you love.
12. Caring for a dying parent is heart-breaking, but it’s not about you. Even though it’s hard, it’s sacred, valuable work, and God is watching.
13. When guests are coming for dinner, always make dessert first. If your company cancels, you still have dessert. 🙂
14. Sugar is a charming, seductive demon.
15. Gardening is harder and sweatier than it looks. Even if you think it looks hard and sweaty, it’s harder and sweatier than that.
16. There will come a point in life when your doctor is younger than you. This is very weird.
17. These are the best brownies it the world. (They are charming and seductive.) I’ve tried them all, and I know. (There is one essential: they are best baked in the Baker’s Edge pan – shown in this link; it produces the correct thickness, as well as edges on every brownie.)
18. People do the best they can with what they know at the time.
19. That size 10 dress you’re saving, hoping you’ll get back into it someday? Take it to the thrift shop. If you ever reach size 10 again, trust me, you’ll buy a new dress.
20. Learn to forgive. Do whatever it takes to get there because a bitter heart contaminates everyone around you. (It helps to remember you’ve hurt people too.)
21. Pray for those you love. Even if nothing changes in their lives, you will gain God’s perspective, and this alone can bring you peace.
22. Thinking ahead is the number one skill we should learn in high school. If our immature brain could grasp this…many mistakes would be avoided.
23. For the most part, you can’t tell your mom what to do. Well, you can, but she won’t listen.
24. No matter what you’re looking for in your purse, it’s always at the bottom.
I wonder if Oprah knows all this cool stuff.
Gosh so many of them rang true for me – how did you think of all those.
I would tell you which ones I liked – but I liked them all.
Love the list Mare and do you ever you speak the truth.
Oh to be a size 10 again! Must be those Crispy Creme's 🙂
omgosh–you are wrong, you have become extremely wise!!! #1–i so agree–#2–gives me great comfort #3–i always wanted a monkey #4–i know this is true, but still can't remember it from time to time–#6-give me that milk chocolate please :)–#7–oh yeah–#11–great tip!!–#12–thanks, for the reminder, i knew this but had forgotten!–#16-#17yep—-#20–you know it!!–#21–guilty too ;)—#25–haha—super great post:)
What a fun post! I might tuck this idea away for my next birthday : )
Fabulous list!!! Especially #6–couldn't agree more. 🙂
~Lynn
like your list!!
the doctors now look about age 12 to me.
Love this list!! #4 is so true! I wish more people realized that- plus then some might not feel they have to one up or belittle others too as most aren't even paying that mich attention.
Dear Truth Sayer! You!
The following are so true: #1,2,4,7,12,13,16,18,20,25.
#6: I know, white chocolate is VERY strange.
#8: I've heard that is true, so finally I may take it now.
#10: I KNOW!
#15: Then the devil is in cows, pigs and chickens LOL
#17: SO TRUE, NOT FUNNY.
#19: I'm still holding out on this one. -30 lbs is all I need.
Yay!
#24: I know I don't listen to my daughters if I don't want to.
The other #s I didn't list are neither here nor there.
GREAT POST!!! LOVED IT!!!!!
I like the thought of making dessert first if having company; that is very wise advice I do think!
betty
I can relate to so many of these – great list!
I want to go back and slap myself for a worrying about a 3 pound fluctuation.
White chocolate is nasty isn't it! Barf.
Thanks for #8 – I'm in denial – washing sheets this morning.
#16 hasn't happened yet – but the teachers and pro ball players waaaaaay younger – that's weird
#25 I always growl at my purse, "You have GOT to be kidding!"
Loved your list and I believe I missed saying it so Happy Belated Birthday – you look great for decrepit. 😉
Some things are just universal aren't they? And these are them! Great list!
I think you are as wise as a guru!! So many of your "truths" ring true with me
OMGosh! I was giggling through this whole list, wise woman! 🙂 🙂
Very funny list. I've experienced some of these for myself.
Ok if you were watching me read this you would think my head looked like one of those heads that bob up and down on a stick because I just kept nodding………….
I so look at my wedding photos and think I looked so thin but of course I thought I was fat and now that I am fat guess what I am still me and I am still a wonderful loving person……too me bloody long enough to get that…….
I am writing a post about hanging onto anger so I get number 20
Love, love, love this post. I couldn't agree more with #16. That's when I really started to feel old.
I'm with you on everything but #6. That's crazy talk. Everyone knows milk chocolate is better and dark chocolate is practically health food.
I'm with you on everything but #6. That's crazy talk. Everyone knows milk chocolate is better and dark chocolate is practically health food.
I'm with you on everything but #6. That's crazy talk. Everyone knows milk chocolate is better and dark chocolate is practically health food.
Much cool stuff here. I'm filing the hot flash one away for future reference. And, I'm having company Saturday and definitely making dessert first!
What a great list, and so very true! I really like the one about making dessert first! It's also a good idea to eat dessert first!
I adore this list! I testify they are all true – especially 4, 7 & 13.
What good thinking – make dessert – at least you'll always have that!
This was so funny! I'd been thinking about writing a similar post. If I ever get down to it, I can't wait to see what I'll say!
A few comments . . .
Is the Squirrel monkey thing something you learned from personal experience?
I plan to file #8 for future use, well, maybe I'll just write it down instead.
Number 12 sounds great, have to try it.
Number 20 is a hard one. I've been praying to learn to forgive AND forget.
Dessert? Yes! Perfect idea.
I love this, and think I may steal it for my next post! 🙂
You mean the extra money thing happens to everyone? I just thought we were just unlucky.
This is a great list! So many good points.
Excellent stuff, Mare! I agree, dark chocolate is WAY better than milk chocolate. And we aren't even discussing white chocolate…:) Love the one about dessert and company, too!