I have to mow the lawn this morning, but I thought I’d procrastinate on that and write a blog post. Isn’t writing more rewarding than moving the lawn? Unless you hate to write. Then, mowing just might be your cup of tea.
Here’s the new addition to my wardrobe this week.
I’ve had carpal tunnel issues in both wrists off and on for years. I had surgery for the right hand about ten years ago. Now, the left wrist is acting up. The good news is that they now make wrist braces in flesh tone instead of just black, so the thing is hardly noticeable. I’m so deluded.
Anyhoo…back to the issue of giving up the #5AR bottle.
I don’t have any new photos of my own mess growing in because it doesn’t look much different from the last photo I posted.
This week, I wrote a guest post for another blog on this topic, but the link has not been reliable, so I copied the post here:
Installment #4: ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
I started a journey about two months ago that is making be me feel a bit anxious and unsure. It’s also making me feel brave (at times) and irritated. I’m actually all over the map with it.
I’ve stopped coloring my hair.
On the surface, this might not seem like a traumatic decision, but it’s opened so much dialogue that has surprised me.
Most of my women friends are appalled I’ve done such a thing. Other acquaintances clam up and walk away from the topic – like I’m going to reveal that they too are hair painters, and God forbid anyone know. It’s just been weird.
I asked a few men what they thought about women coloring their hair, and they shrugged and stared off blankly for a moment. Then they said, “I don’t know,” or “I don’t care,” or “I’m not touching that.” They’re not thinking about it.
This surprised me too. I thought we women were dying our hair for men – so we would be more attractive and give the illusion of youth and sex appeal. But I’ve come to a different conclusion:
We women dye our hair because we’re in competition with each another.
This is a disappointing realization. But, I’ve questioned many women now – friends and strangers alike (I talked about this with the woman who took a blood sample from Dad this morning) and they’re falling into one of two camps.
1. I’ll never stop dying my hair, because I’ll look older. I don’t want to be dismissed as ‘less than.’ I’m already overweight and older, so I don’t need a third strike against me.
2. I quit dying five years ago because I got tired of it. I’m making peace with the aging process. I feel free. People need to accept me for who I am – this is who I am.
Not one woman has said, I color my hair to get a man, or keep a man, or please my man, or whatever. Men aren’t even mentioned.
Ladies – we are doing this to each other. We are trying to look better and younger than our fellow sisters. This makes me sad.
Shouldn’t we be encouraging each other as we age and grow silver highlights? Shouldn’t we take pride in the years we’ve lived, the challenges we’ve overcome, the victories we’ve gained?
What is wrong with looking our age?
If most of us are dying our hair, it means we’ve collectively bought into the LIE that we are not good enough where we are. In light of the 70’s fight for equality and feminine pride and strength…why are we still painting our hair? If you are a dye-er, I ask you to think about this. Get to the root (pun intended) of why you dye. Be honest with yourself.
I was first challenged to think about all this when my nephew’s wife, who is African American, stopped straightening her hair. She received criticism from friends and family – how could she do such a thing? What is wrong with this picture? I asked myself.
Our natural hair – color, curly, straight, thick, thin, whatever – is what God gave us.
We, in our limited little minds, have narrowly defined ‘beauty’ and then have been trying to squeeze ourselves into that mold ever since.
Why are we doing this?!
Two months into this, are there days I want to scratch this whole thing and paint my hair with L’Oreal 5AR again? Absolutely. I’m scared, as my silver comes in, I might be viewed as fatter and older and less than. But what other people think of me is NONE OF MY BUSINESS. Who defines me? Myself, or others?
My hair certainly should not define me.
It’s a crazy issue, I tell ya. I would love to have you join me on this journey. Tell me what you think. What the man in your life thinks.
I’m writing a series about this – 15 Shades of Gray – on my blog. I’m three installments in.
Thanks for reading!
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Check out the comments I received on this guest post HERE. A LOT of insightful comments. I’m so grateful so many women shared their hearts on this. I keep saying, this is such an interesting journey….
Previous posts on my journey… PART 1 PART 2 PART 3
Aaaagh to carpal tunnel! Glad they have a flesh colored brace now. I had to wear the black one.
That hair is amazing! I wish I had 1/4 of that.
Congrats on the new baby in your family. Such cute little feet.
Juli G says
Oh the FEET!!! I LOVE THE FEET!!!
Your beginning post sounds similar to the one I have in progress right now. I will wait to publish it until Monday mainly because it's LONG and I have a follow up tomorrow so I maybe able to add some details. I will tell you though that my carpal tunnel they believe may be the early onset of RA, although she is offering up needle therapy to get me some relief. Honestly I'd prefer acupuncture over surgery. You are so brave for opting for it on the right hand… I don't know if I can wrap my head around that for myself yet.
Betsy Brock says
What sweet little toes! Aw.
Hope all your procedures go well and you're back to good health!
Chatty Crone says
Okay I am totally with you on the old body – I wouldn't even leave it to medical science it looks so marked u p!
Seriously I hope and pray that all your issues will turn out well.
That women's hair is pretty.
The baby's feet is cute!
That hair!!!!! I saw two women at the grocery store last week and they each had such beautiful gray hair. I had almost worked up the courage to tell them (as I thought of you), but then chickened out. (I think I could've approached one person, but two seemed crazy)
Good luck at all of your appointments!
Jerry E Beuterbaugh says
"Adventures in the Ballpark" has been included in our A Sunday Drive. Be assured that we hope this helps to point even more new visitors in your direction.
I sure know the new baby thing right now, too. 😉
I hope all your surgeries and doctor visits go well. I wonder if I will make it as long as my parents, too. (My dad will be 94 in November.)
Have a really good week!!
I'm so sorry your having trouble with your wrist. My dad has the same problem, but he hasn't had the surgery yet. I have way too many health issues for my age, but I just try to stay positive and know that it could always be worse.
We love Cary! I can see why your sister loves it!
Enjoy your weekend!
Lynn Proctor says
Oh wow mare! Sorry about your hand and eyes and everything! Beautuful niece- congrats!
Rebecca Jo says
Look at that sweet baby's toes… love it.
That hair… wow… that's gotta be hot.
Empty Nest Insider says
Sorry about your carpal tunnel, as well as your moles and growths. You are wise to see a dermatologist regularly, and I hope you'll have a speedy recovery. I've also had all kinds of things pop up, and have gone to a mohs surgeon. I like how you're "giving up the bottle." I think you'll look great with silver hair!
I love your posts. They go all over the place and that is just plain fun!! Hope the carpal will clear up without added surgery.