My husband and I updated our wills recently. I get why people put off doing this stuff. I was in tears in our attorney’s office.
Most of the process is boring and time-consuming. Then you get to the part where you have to create a terrible scenario – you’re dying, and do you want your loved ones to feed you, or not? Do you want to keep living if you are in a coma? If you don’t want to live in that state, who has to decide to pull the plug?
I might have been more detached through this process if I was not a caretaker for my parents, who are 93 and 96. The fact is that my heart is presented with these kinds of scenarios daily. My folks are relatively fine at the moment, but their physical deaths are likely to be sooner than I’m ready for. Most of my time is occupied with aging/declining/dementia issues, and I have more sad moments than I care to admit.
As I was debating these painful issues for myself, my parents and my love for them was right at the surface. Our attorney is very kind and offered me some chocolate when I began to tear up. He has a little plate of miniature candy bars right next to the coffee and tea assortments.
I encourage all of you to create your will. It’s not really for you, but for those you love who will be left behind when you are going, or gone. Think about them and how hard these decisions will be if you do not give them some written, legal guidance.
And make sure your attorney has some chocolate.