With no disrespect to E. L. James (she is a writer, after all), I offer a few rational footnotes to her Fifty Shades series, lest we women get completely seduced by the clearly disturbed Mr. Grey.
1. Every female college student should be wary of becoming involved with anyone five years older.
2. Sex and erotica are enticing, but they’re not love.
3. Any woman who is tempted by a relationship that involves being beaten with a belt needs a friend to repeatedly scream in her face that she was created for better things.
4. For all the gains of the women’s movement, women are still tolerating sub par relationships. We need to knock it off!
5. Girls, we cannot obtain our self-worth from a man. God gave us intrinsic, inalienable value the day we were born. It’s up to us not to misplace it.
6. Love is about service and sacrifice. It is never about power (sexual or otherwise.)
7. The only entity we should “submit” to is God.
8. A truly good man will not want to tie you up, or tie you down.
9. A truly good man will propose.
10. It’s OK to wait for a truly good man.
11. If you invest in your appearance more than you invest in your mind, you are giving men permission to focus on your body more than your ideas.
12. Men and women are different. This is not a weakness, a mistake, or automatic grounds for resentment, distrust, or competition. It’s our first introduction to diversity.
13. No one can “complete” you, but yourself.
14. There is no Knight in Shining Armor. Just imperfect fellas who are doing the best they can to impress the imperfect women that we are.
15. Fifty years of marriage is a better goal.